May Be

 May be

It is not fair.

That I choose and want to choose only the fair.

Maybe it's cheating -

That I want only what is beauty,

the good, the unrealistically positive,

the goodness in humankind.

Maybe it's fraud to some souls, but I want it.

Maybe some will say, 

"In this world of pain and wars, killing and hurts, its a luxury to be withdrawn the way you are and just be blind to the dark and to dare to have the luxury to be a dreamy-believer is a betrayal"

but I say -

I would be blinded till my last days if that makes me peaceful. Abundant. Resourceful. Loved and Loving. Successful. Maker of my dreams come true. Winner. Honoured. I don't need to be so authentic that makes me hurt myself. I don't need the truths that make me feel like all the good hopes are but lies. I really really really don't need to be that kind of strong. The strength that comes from suffering and breaking and pain and betrayal. I don't need that kind of life lessons which are learned by pain. I don't need to be that great when it comes to the price of tears and heartbreak. I would rather choose or choose to build my own world of fantasy that is filled with goodness for me instead of the illusion of "reality".

AND I SAY -

It is strong of me to dare to be hopeful while facing the so-called difficult reality. To stick to the plan of being dreamy, to be cheerful enough, romantic enough. SO many times life will try to knock me off of my fantasy castle. Life will do everything to tell me and strongly make me believe that goodness is an illusion. Love is an illusion. Romance is insufficient. Miracles are fake. Imaginations are for weaklings. Life will pull me its hardest to take me in the team of realistars! But I say it's brave to say 'no' to that temptation. I say it's much easier to give up and be one of them realistars. I say it's beautiful, its real fight to choose to be the childlike, wonderous being who dares to have faith, to have unshakable belief, to hold on the strongest to the miracles, to be unwilling to give up on the wishes even when everything seems to force me to.

I say -

my soft is my strength, my naive is my wise, my tears are my pearls, my jewelry. My vulnerability is valuable. My dreams are my reality. My weeping is my gripping. It's my style. And it works fine for me. And that's all that matters.